The Art of Backbiting: Why Staying Calm and Nice Is the Best Response

 Have you ever come across someone who’s nice to your face but talks badly about you behind your back? It’s a frustrating experience that can leave you feeling hurt and confused. This is what we call backbiting — a situation where people pretend to be kind to your face but secretly undermine you when you’re not around.

But here’s the thing: If you find yourself in such situations, there’s actually a better way to handle it than getting angry or upset. The best response is simple: be calm and nicer.

What is Backbiting?

Backbiting is when someone speaks negatively about another person when they aren’t present to defend themselves. It’s like playing a game of pretending to be nice on the outside, but being mean and malicious on the inside. These people often say hurtful things or spread rumors about others to feel better about themselves.

It can leave you feeling devastated, especially when you realize the person is someone you trusted or considered a friend. But don’t let their words get to you — there’s a much better way to deal with them.

Why Do People Backbite?

People who backbite often do so because of their own insecurities. They might be struggling with self-confidence or have complex feelings about themselves. Instead of confronting their own issues, they take out their frustrations by talking negatively about others. It’s a way of diverting attention from their own vulnerabilities by putting others down.

But here’s the key: the more they backbite, the more they reveal their own weaknesses. A person who engages in backbiting is often showing how insecure they are. They might be trying to boost their own self-esteem by tearing someone else down. But in reality, they’re only making themselves appear weak and untrustworthy.

The Best Way to Handle Backbiting

So, what should you do if you encounter someone who’s backbiting about you? The answer is surprisingly simple: be nicer.

Instead of getting upset or fighting back, stay calm and kind. Responding with kindness doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re in control. By remaining calm and treating them with respect, you’ll actually be showing them the mirror — that their behavior is unnecessary and unkind. Over time, they may realize that their words hold no power over you.

A genuine person will always have the courage to speak directly about their feelings instead of gossiping behind someone’s back. They’re not afraid to confront issues head-on. On the other hand, the person who resorts to backbiting is often avoiding real confrontation because they feel insecure and complexed.

Why You Shouldn't Engage in Backbiting

Engaging in backbiting only lowers your own self-worth. It shows that you’re not confident enough to deal with your own problems and instead prefer to focus on others. When you participate in gossip, you lose the respect of others and, most importantly, respect for yourself.

So, if you ever find yourself tempted to backbite, think twice. Ask yourself: “Is this really the person I want to be?” The truth is, backbiting only harms relationships and leaves everyone involved feeling worse. Instead, practice kindness and honesty, and watch how those who indulge in backbiting start to lose their power over you. 

The Takeaway: Show Sympathy, Not Anger

If you find yourself in a situation where someone is backbiting about you, don’t get upset. Instead, have sympathy for them. They’re likely struggling with their own issues and insecurity. By staying calm and kind, you take away their power and show them a different way to behave.

Remember: You don’t need to stoop to their level. Stay genuine, stay confident, and always be the better person. Because in the end, those who backbite are the ones who are mentally and emotionally trapped in their own struggles.

And don’t forget, it’s okay to laugh a little about it — after all, people who backbite are only revealing their own weaknesses, and that’s something worth feeling a bit sorry for them about.

*All images used on this blog are for illustrative purposes only and are not owned by  LiveLoveEatRight!!*